Interrupting our regularly scheduled programming… this year’s focus will continue to be on finding your STRONG! so you can be a Stress Master and a healthier, happier human. But the last few weeks have hauled us all up short and deserve some special attention.
Clearly there is no shortage of things to worry about right now. Not that there ever is, but Covid-19 has definitely peaked the collective cortisol of our world, offering an impressive menu of scary places to land our attention and fuel our stress. It tests our ability to handle the stress of uncertainty, an onslaught of confusing information, incredible life disruption, empathy overload, escalating communal fear, as well as some very real and scary health and economic challenges.
Any of these random thoughts sound familiar?
- How at risk am I? (Btw, when did I get this old?)
- Are my loved ones?
- What about my job, my business, my community?
- How will I keep up with bills?
- How will our family/my marriage weather all this together time?
- How will my kids be impacted?
- How will social distancing affect my mental health?
- How can I help but not increase the risk?
- What about our economy? The global economy? My retirement plans?
- Is our leadership up to this challenge?
- Is our healthcare system?
- Will my toilet paper last? My hair color?
- Will I gain 10 pounds? (Off to a good start on this one! 😂)
- Etc., etc,. etc… YIKES! BREATHE!!!
We’ve heard so much talk about who is more physically vulnerable to Covid-19, but little mention of who is more vulnerable to the challenge of staying mentally healthy amid the broadcasted fears, real health scares, economic upheavals, and collective panic.
The reality is many of us enter this bizarre new world already struggling to keep stress, anxiety or depression at bay. Now we swim in a sea of possible triggers, fueling our less healthy, more reactive brain patterns; testing everyone’s coping skills; and overwhelming many. (Please note, if you are really struggling—firstly, don’t judge yourself—you can always text HOME to 74174 to talk to someone!)
If you are feeling more edgy, overwhelmed, fearful or frozen, you have a lot of company. The grocery store craze is proof—not that we should be panicked (NO!), but that fellow humans are struggling with how to manage this added pressure. Stress/depression/anxiety tend to make us feel more alone, but that is part of our mind’s story, not reality. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, and you will feel stronger when you take action and explore new ways to feel connected.
It’s also part of our wiring that our stressed or anxious minds narrow our perspectives, skew us to the negative, make threats loom larger, make us doubt our self-efficacy, and thwart the creativity we need to find healthier thought and behavior patterns. Then to further compound the problem, our world has taught many of us to react with self-judgment or shame for our feelings. But the reality is there are many, many ways we can start to shift our minds to feel more empowered and more in control of the mental test of the Covid-19 and life in general.
Over and over again throughout millennia, the human spirit has proven to be remarkably resilient. We can find inspiration and wisdom in that. (Keep finding examples!) Science, history, and self-reflection can teach us which thought patterns and choices make us stronger and help us find ways to meet challenge and fear with our best selves. We can learn to make space for our feelings and still believe in our capabilities.
Please know, I do not, not, not mean to diminish anyone’s grief or pain—they are real and need processing. My heart goes out to those dealing with illness or loss, those losing their jobs (already true in my family), the heroic healthcare workers and their families, the armies of grocery store and other services risking their health to meet our needs, those wondering how to pay the rent, to the parents who didn’t expect to teaching/parenting/working all at once, to those not surrounded by loved ones, etc. I just want all of us to feel stronger in the face of mental and emotional stress, so we all suffer less, and even find moments of joy and connection, no matter what our circumstances.
You can find your STRONG! And you can do it in tiny little steps.
- Choose where to spend your attention. This takes awareness and practice. Notice what choices fuel your better thinking? What helps you stay more positive, feel stronger vs. what ramps up your worry or negativity? Actually, start listing them!
For example, yes, you need to stay informed, but not swirling in worry, glued to the media hype. How else can you learn just enough, then give your mind what it needs to deal with it? How can you seek out the positives, the inspirations, some comic relief? What physical activities calm your mind? What one activity can you add into your day that will keep your attention on the bigger picture? Something as simple as changing the Alexa background from current news to art pictures makes me smile a little more. - Ramp up connection! Fight social distancing (or maybe your own withdrawal tendencies) with heartful connection. If you’re not feeling up to initiating connection, start by just noticing it in others, like the singing Italians. Or listen to a loving kindness guided visualization on the Insight Timer App. Send yourself a little love for just thinking about how to take care of yourself or others. Reach out to someone you know is feeling alone. How many other ways are there for humans to let each other know we “see” each other, that we matter? BTW… this does strengthen your immune system!
- Ramp up self-care! If ever there was a time to pay attention to self-care, it’s now! This is your toolbox for getting strong—mind, body, and spirit. Maybe you meant to start working out last January, well you still can. Make a list, not of “shoulds,” but of those things you think would fuel your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual energy—keep adding to it for several days = brainstorming. Then pick just one or two and experiment. Make it fun or you’ll quit. Maybe this week you go to bed 30 min earlier?
I’ll delve more into each of these over the coming weeks. These are strange times and while fraught with a plethora of dark spaces to go, they are also full of opportunities to step out of status quo, make some important reflections and realignments, and find new ways to build your own STRONG and our collective STRONG. Part of the good news is the non-denominational nature of this “threat to humankind” may actually rekindle some much-needed connection and humanity that will fuel mental resilience as well as stronger immune systems. Let’s not only hope so, but work to make it true—that will help us all pass the test!
Love to hear your ideas and thoughts!
And please… WASH YOUR HANDS!!! 🙂
