Don’t you just love the freshness and potential of a new planner! Another chance to create that organized, productive, and fulfilling year outlined so prettily in blogs and magazines. (I so want to believe that the right colored pens and planner system are the keys to the good life! J) But in our eagerness to jump into “fresh start mode,” we have to be careful not to skip the critical step of capturing our hard-earned wisdom from the past year. Take reflection time riding into 2020!
Intention, attention, and repetition
Our brains are designed to learn and grow by building up pathways with intention, attention, and repetition. Reflection provides the attention and repetition to cement our wisdom. It also gives us a chance to clean up the stories, perhaps clearing out some of the “fake news” brains like to collect or create along the way.
Tiny example: This past September, in the middle of humungous stress, I made a truly dumb mistake, missing out on a great opportunity. Yes, this part = data. How can I use that data to not repeat the mistake, but lose the oft-repeated “shame story” my brain is so willing to tack on? By taking time to reflect on the data, tease out the stories/biases/assumptions, and capture the action points for a better future—all with self-compassion! (I didn’t say this is easy!)
Take a look back
So… before getting too far into creating your vision and theme for 2020, gift yourself a few moments of looking back:
- What word sums up your 2019? _______________
- What went well? What didn’t? (Both are important!)
- What stories serve you? What stories can you lose?
- What have you learned?
- What do you need more of going forward? And what do you need less of in your life?
- How can reflecting on these questions help you create a more powerful vision for your future?
Ex: My theme for 2019 turned out to be WHIPLASH!!!
Whiplash occurs when the brain is tossed back and forth inside the skull, banging the delicate outer cortex into the pointy inner bones and shearing longer neurons—traumatic injuries that are hard to diagnose and take time to heal. My 2019 was quite the emotional rollercoaster ride—with the highest of joys and the deepest lows of fear and loss in rapid succession = emotional whiplash!
Was this my intended theme word for 2019?… Heck, NO! Sometimes we are securely manning the controls of the ride of life, and sometimes we are holding onto the bars for dear life. The work we do to get strong—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually strong—when we have more control does help us survive the crazy loops, but too much thrashing about takes it toll.
What did I learn?
- I am not in this life alone, and for that I am so very grateful. Despite my stubborn, independent streak and our culture’s allergy to emotional expression, healing comes from letting others in. Connection is a “Blue Zone” determinant, critical to human thriving. I need to nurture my connections more going forward.
- I have worked very hard to build my resilience toolkit… I mean, I’m supposedly a “stress expert!” But sometimes life overwhelms the tools, and then, despite our cultural bias against it, self-compassion actually makes you stronger. This is a practice/neural pathway I can strengthen with guided meditations. (check out Insight Timer App for great resources!)
- To be at my best and keep my brain working well (…not making dumb mistakes!), I have to heed my energy needs—physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energies affect one another, and all need regular recharging, especially when demands increase.
- It’s more than ok to take time to integrate, to move beyond the perspectives that are temporarily distorted by fear or pain or joy to find clarity and a broader truth for your life. Our brains need pauses from taking in new information to wire up useful wisdom and make new connections that will feed future creativity and brainpower.
Slowing down for reflection
Like many of my clients, I need to slow down a bit to build in more reflection time. I would also benefit from actually capturing my lessons in writing. Despite my go-to response pattern of “just keep moving” and my “idle hands are the work of the devil” heritage, I know that reflection time makes me stronger, more resilient, and ultimately creates a richer life. It’s ok to take reflection time riding into 2020.
Hopefully, there are plenty more hills and valleys ahead in life—all the more reason to build wisdom and make choices that will build strength. Thus…my 2020 theme: STRONG!
